Relationships are so difficult to gage when we think we know a person they suddenly do something that you simply just never thought they would. The pain hurt and anguish that goes into the realisation of a sudden change when a close one decided to just walkout box your life leaving no explanation no clue no idea that they have gone.
We see this in the playground growing up, usually with the girls, they suddenly form clicks and start groups, hate campaigns against each other. Often someone gets singled out.
You can feel tarnished when being singled out sometimes that sticks and you are singled out and left out and mentally emotionally abused without so much as a warning or understanding as to why.
This is hurtful confusing and can wreak so much havoc on your self-esteem.
I am going to tell you a story I have so many and I am truly grateful for every single one.
Firstly, hurt does not respect a person, it happens to us all, but through the hurt as cliché as this may sound there is always a lining, it might not be silver but it will hold wisdom, direction and compassion. If you decide to weave it and fashion it so.
I had my fair share of friendships, but one in particular I thought was rock solid shocked the hell out of me.
2017 my best friend was my cousin and we were well I thought we were close. I had been married a short time and during that time we had suffered a few ectopic pregnancies which could have affected my life.
Due to that in order to get pregnant I needed IVF. I embarked on it and my best friend was the only person besides my husband who knew or supported me.
Well some other very difficult things happened out of my control and hers. It caused more strain on the procedure. Needless to say, the IVF failed. During that time my best friend was nowhere in fact she had totally disappeared, removed me from everything. I had to suddenly move, and things were difficult logistically. I felt so alone yes, I had my husband, but my best friend who was usually there with words and love, this time she was nowhere.
I had to pack up and find a new place to live without even talking to her it was hard. This all happened in the space of the same week.
I felt so low that I needed something I needed a silver lining. So, I decided to look for another job, I didn’t need one I was comfortable in my current contracting position at the time, but I wanted a positive focus.
I applied for the Priory, this was my dream, I often mused about working there, I thought what is the worst that can happen, I don’t get it. I was not expecting to either.
Things changed drastically and unsurprisingly for the better.
I moved to a really lovely neighbourhood, huge garden, great location for connections and some beautiful lovely neighbours, I love my neighbours. I was called in for an interview and I got the position.
I went from completely desolate to absolutely elated. My career was on the map and I was flourishing.
My friendships changed. I forged new friendships with some of the world’s finest. I mean Priory staff became family, friends demonstrated their love focus and support and I created more defined connections, some old friendships deepened, and all the mess of 2017 was a distant memory in fact if now feels like it happened to someone else.
I still never heard from her, I fact I had some more disappointments on the family front, but the more distant I became from old relationships that I thought I needed the more I created new improved loving and open ones, I was not at a loss in fact I had gained.
I was not sure how I Was going to cope when in 2017 my then best friend cousin walked away from me with not as much as a note a pause as if our friendship meant nothing. I was even more confused when she forged a friendship with another family member who we both had aversions to. I was so confused but I was not at a loss. I had Gained so much
Sometimes the people that you think will be there for you will suddenly walk away and that is perfectly ok. It will hurt and that is absolutely natural. I found that allowing that process and weaving my own lining proved fruitful not just with relationships, but opportunity, finances and career.
I gained so much from that exit.
Sometimes people leave and we focus on the absences, but what about the space they awarded you to be one on one with yourself and build in your own direction. When she left, I gained smooch, I carved my calling out and I have an abundance of love and support around me. One which I never had in my life.
Letting go is not losing letting go is winning a new opportunity a new reason forward.
People will leave you, but the one person that remains will always be you.
When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen